Children and Divorce
What's the best way to help children adjust to divorce? Your discussion with your children should vary with the child’s age, even if the basic information is the same for all children. Test your knowledge by taking this quiz.
1. Parents should tell children as little as possible about the divorce, because it's very upsetting to children.
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Children can tell when their parents are upset. Parents need to let their children know that they are not responsible for the divorce. During divorce and other times of change or turmoil, you can help your children by keeping as many routine schedules as possible.
2. Children can't understand what is going on during a divorce.
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Parents should be open and honest. Explain the divorce process to your children in simple language that is appropriate to each child’s age.
3. Parents should let their children voice their concerns about the divorce.
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This will help your children feel some control over a situation in which they do not have input. Children often have concrete concerns, such as where they will live and go to school. Be honest. If you don’t have an answer, tell your children that you will let them know as soon as you do.
4. Children may think the divorce is their fault.
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Even if parents have never blamed the children, the children often assume the divorce is at least partly their fault. Parents must take full responsibility and be honest in a way that is convincing to children. That will vary according to the circumstances. Choose your words carefully and talk with them often.
5. During and after the divorce, don't let your kids hear arguments between the two of you.
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If possible, parents' battles should not take place in front of the children. That can be frightening for them.
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